texts from last nightTumblr (3.0; @fuckyeahtexts)http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/(951): yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye. http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123524521http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123524521Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:20:39 -0400(919): I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment. http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123524423http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123524423Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:20:22 -0400(970): I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises. http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123524156http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123524156Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:19:38 -0400(918): it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123523698http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123523698Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:18:14 -0400(970): He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123523580http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123523580Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:17:50 -0400(559): yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123523446http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123523446Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:17:21 -0400(434): well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123523510http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123523510Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:17:00 -0400(864): you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123523219http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123523219Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:16:40 -0400(857): Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark. http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123523031http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123523031Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:16:06 -0400(407): Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis. http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123522890http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123522890Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:15:40 -0400(905): Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have. http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123522804http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123522804Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:15:28 -0400(609): so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me? http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123522511http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123522511Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:14:44 -0400(303): I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight. http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123522436http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123522436Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:14:33 -0400(917): ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?" http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123522154http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123522154Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:13:58 -0400(480): A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card. http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123522057http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123522057Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:13:41 -0400(512): the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like. http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123521942http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123521942Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:13:25 -0400(310): If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth. http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123521792http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123521792Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:12:57 -0400(650): my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamphttp://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123521511http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123521511Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:12:21 -0400(646): We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat. http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123521088http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123521088Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:11:07 -0400(631): I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123520973http://fuckyeahtexts.tumblr.com/post/123520973Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:10:47 -0400